July 1st – Canada Day

I love Canada, from what I know about it at least. My friends who have visited it said that it’s beautiful, Justin Trudeau is a bit of  babe, and its managed to make a country bilingual in a matter of decades thanks to Quebec. It’s the land of maple syrup and Michael Buble, so what’s not to love?

Shawn Mendes.

I don’t like his music. Don’t get me wrong he’s pretty hot and most likely a nice guy but I’ve heard two of his singles and disliked both. So in celebrating Canada Day I will force myself to listen to all his songs on his Illuminate album and review them.

By the way, when I mentioned this idea to my friend I legitimately spelled his name wrong, that’s how much I don’t enjoy listening to him. I’m the only one of my friends I know that doesn’t like him!

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Song 1 – Don’t be a Fool

Sweet song but not my cup of tea, it’s not that I hate love songs but something about his just seem already tried and just not worth the fame they get. This one in particular I was really enjoying the music, not the lyrics, and I realised it was because the music reminded me of ‘Who’s Loving You’ by the Jackson 5. But if I wanted to listen to that song I would just listen to it and not ‘Don’t be a Fool’. Thumbs down.

Song 2 – Like This

Sounds almost exactly the same as ‘Don’t be a Fool’. Is this all about the same girl? I would cringe if he was singing about me. Try harder Shawn. Thumbs down.

Song 3 – Lights On.

Third song in a row about a beautiful girl with a beautiful personality. Also, damn this is contradictory, he literally said “I’m a gentleman” and “I’ll take it slow” and then suddenly he’s going “I wanna love you with the lights on” and “your skin’s so perfect up against me”. What is it Shawn are you a gentleman or a fuckboi? Thumbs down.

Song 4 – Bad Reputation.

Aw damn, a girl with a bad reputation but don’t worry, Shawn knows who you really are and wants to help break down your walls. Are these songs seriously all just variations on the same theme? I’m sorry Shawn I’m just not someone with low enough self esteem to be sucked into this. ALSO STOP SAYING YOU’LL TREAT ME LIKE A LADY OR THAT YOU’RE A GENTLEMAN WHEN YOU LEGIT HAVE A SONG ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK WITH THE LIGHTS ON! Thumbs down.

Song 5 – No Promises

Okay I’m a bit calmer for this because at least the music sounds different, a tad more funky. Still just random love songs about girls though :/. Are you not making any promises because you want a no strings attached relationship? Not very gentlemanly Shawn. Thumbs down.

Song 6 – Roses

Well this is at least the first one about unrequited love considering the unnamed woman is already in a relationship. The lyrics are nicer and a bit easier to relate to as well, I mean it’s still dumb love songs but this one hits the ear better. Yeah I’d listen to this again. Average.

Song 7 – Ruin

And we’re back to me being mad. I don’t need to be constantly serenaded by some guy with a guitar. I honestly like love songs but THESE ALL SOUND THE SAME HOW DOES HE HAVE MORE THAN ONE HIT! It’s a formula that should win for me, it’s easy listening, reminds me of 60s romantic swing tunes of Sammy Davis Jr, but he’s like Drake, every song sounds the same. Thumbs down.

Song 8 – Treat You Better

This song I had heard before, it’s catchy I’ll give you that Shawn. The musicality is different to all the other ones but the lyrics make me cringe. What if she doesn’t want a gentleman and likes it rough?! Ever thought of that buddy?! Thumbs up just because it is catchy and this one does deserve the attention it got, but he didn’t need to make an album of all the same songs, so I’m still disappointed.

Song 9 – Mercy

Same as above I had heard this before and disliked it for all the above reasons I have already said. But for originality I will now tear to shreds the music video. Shawn, mate, when your car is sinking in the water you don’t panic and try to open the door, you wait until your car fills with water and open it then when there’s equal pressure. Thumbs down.

Song 10 – Three Empty Words

THE MUSIC SOUNDS DIFFERENT. Thumbs up already because my standards have dropped after hearing too many of the same thing. Still dumb and would hate it if he was singing about me. I think the issue is that if it doesn’t have the catchy novelty then it has nothing original to offer. Anyway, thumbs up, good music, but average overall.

Song 11 – Honest

It’s similar to Three Empty Words but different to everything else if that makes sense. So he’s a two trick pony. I’m done with saying how dumb the lyrics and the themes are. He literally just said “you deserve more than I can promise”, does this guy just write one song and then use a thesaurus? Thumbs down.

Song 12 – Patience

What the fuck this song was great!! It wasn’t about how a girl deserves better it was about how he deserves better and I like that, boost yourself up Shawn. This was fantastic and the music was great too. This is a legitimately amazing song why wasn’t this his first EP? So many thumbs up.

Song 13 – Understand

Another great song! It wasn’t a stupid song about a girl it was about actually growing as a person an his own experience and this one sounds the least fake out of all of them if that makes sense. The words sound genuine. Banger, although right now I’m listening to the ‘speaking part’ and it’s kind of lame but you can’t hate it too much because it does sounds genuine. And he’s right, changing isn’t a bad thing. Thumbs up.

Song 14 – Hold On

Damn this nearly made me cry. I love my dad and clearly so does Shawn. This was beautiful and if it was based on a true story it would be a lot better. I don’t have anything else to say. Thumbs up.

 

So every song that I legitimately liked weren’t about women or love of being a gentleman, and 2 that were passable just had good music. So Shawn Mendes is a good musician he just doesn’t sing the right songs for me, but hey 3/14 is better than I was expecting.

What I learnt from Canada Day – I love Canada and I sometimes like Shawn Mendes.

 

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