June 22nd – World Music Day

I’ve mentioned before my constant struggles with choosing whether to play music or not (See, ‘The Trouble with the Tuba is…’). And as much as I know it will be better for my time management and social life to stop playing but there’s always the same reason why I can’t . I can barely explain it it’s the je ne sais quoi of it. There’s a certain euphoria that it gives me when it’s done right and we sound amazing but there’s also pressure and stress. But the bad times make the good times even better.

It’s a different language that only you can speak, it’s knowing that even if you are only a single cog in the band like I am, the wheel can’t turn without you. It’s the same feeling I get when I think about unions and the unionist movement. I’m still in two hearts about it because I know I’ll have to stop at some point, but when is the question.

But for now I don’t want to think about that I just want to try my best to explain how playing music feels to me, and it’s the same as in Billy Elliott the Musical, when Billy explains what dancing feels like to him, electricity:

I can’t really explain it,
I haven’t got the words
It’s a feeling that you can’t control
I suppose it’s like forgetting, losing who you are
And at the same time something makes you whole
It’s like that there’s a music playing in your ear
And I’m listening, and I’m listening and then I disappear
And then I feel a change
Like a fire deep inside
Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide
And suddenly I’m flying, flying like a bird
Like electricity, electricity
Sparks inside of me
And I’m free I’m free
It’s a bit like being angry,
it’s a bit like being scared
Confused and all mixed up and mad as hell
It’s like when you’ve been crying
And you’re empty and you’re full
I don’t know what it is, it’s hard to tell
It’s like that there’s a music playing in your ear
But the music is impossible, impossible to hear
But then I feel it move me
Like a burning deep inside
Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide
And suddenly I’m flying, flying like a bird
Like electricity, electricity
Sparks inside of me
And I’m free I’m free
Electricity, sparks inside of me
And I’m free, I’m free
It’s a bit like being angry,
it’s a bit like being scared
Confused and all mixed up and mad as hell
It’s like when you’ve been crying
And you’re empty and you’re full
I don’t know what it is, it’s hard to tell
It’s like that there’s a music playing in your ear
But the music is impossible, impossible to hear
But then I feel it move me
Like a burning deep inside
Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide
And suddenly I’m flying, flying like a bird
Like electricity, electricity
Sparks inside of me
I’m free, I’m free, free, I’m free
What I learnt from World Music Day: Music has a hold on me that I can’t explain, I hope others understand.

 

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